What helps people heal? I asked in my journal a few weeks before I
met my husband back in early 1998. —not
so much physically, but emotionally and Spiritually…it was not the first time
I’d pondered that question. I had spent
two years in a PhD program in Industrial Organizational Psychology digging in
to the basics of psychology and work team effectiveness. But, I wanted more, to go deeper…so I delved
in to Counseling Psychology…I spent two years learning theories and training in
a group Psychiatric practice…placing people in drug studies for the FDA at the
same time training under a Jungian therapist….still asking…what really helps
people heal…
By this time in 1998, I’d worked
for several years in a well-known Psychiatric Hospital and Treatment Center….learning
so much about healing….and yet, still wanting more…asking what helps people
heal?
My husband introduced me to many
forms of healing and in fact we own a Wellness Center together today. Through several modalities, I’ve seen
people’s lives transformed. Yet, I am
intrigued at this point in my life by one methodology that I’ve known about for
decades. We’ve all heard the expression,
“You are what you eat,” right? I’d like
to talk to you today about how “You are what you think.”
Although I’d heard that our
thoughts could have an impact on our lives through the power of positive
thinking back in the 80s and studied cognitive behavior therapy in graduate
school, it has been a subject that has evolved for me over the years. I’d like to share with you some of what I’ve
learned. Maybe you’ve heard about this
form of therapy or already practice this form of being aware of your thoughts
now, but I invite you to listen with an open mind because I’ve found that even
if we’ve heard something 1000 times, in that 1000 and first time, we can hear
it in a completely new way and have that ah-ha experience. The one where you’re ready and able to apply
the knowledge and make the changes that heretofore had eluded you. That’s been my recent experience with how
thoughts affect our lives and that is my wish for you, today as well.
My intention today is to either
educate you or remind you that our thoughts impact our feelings and our actions
for better or for worse.
We have both healthy and toxic
thoughts and it is possible and in fact essential that we actively choose the
thoughts we allow to rent space in our brains.
Dr. Caroline Leaf is a Cognitive
Neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology. She has studied and researched the
Mind-Brain connection since the 1980s. She explains that the brain is part of the
Physical Body and is controlled by our mind.
Research is mounting for evidence of neuroplasticity—that is the ability
of the brain to change. Neuro meaning
brain and plastic being to change. So
the old saying, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks…”—not true. Or that excuse you may have heard yourself
use, “It’s just the way I am…” –not so true either. Research shows now that our
thinking can alter genetic expression.
That’s a bold assertion. We are
designed to be able to change our brains, but it does take some effort. In fact, it takes a full 21 days to
physically break down a thought and create a new one.
If you’re into quick fixes like I
am, you may want some proof now that what I’m saying has some truth to it. Let’s try an experiment right now with how
our thoughts can impact how we feel. Let
me ask you this…have you ever been attacked by ANTS? No, I’m not talking about the little black or
red bugs that visit you at your picnics.
I’m talking about the more incessant pests called Automatic Negative
Thoughts. They are cynical, gloomy
thoughts that run like background noise in your head. You probably aren’t even aware that they’re
there. Have you ever caught yourself in
some situation and your ANT is “I can’t handle this” “I just can’t handle this”—maybe your boss is
making demands you think are unreasonable, your relationship is stressful, or
you’re experiencing a financial challenge.
You inner chatter screams, “I can’t handle this” and your body
listens. It sounds the alarm and sets off
the stress response alerting all systems of the danger. Pupils dilate, blood is routed away from the
stomach and to the large leg muscles and arms to more easily fight or
flee. But, we can’t haul off and punch our
bosses or our significant others or run from challenges…or at least we
shouldn’t.
Wanna know how to squash the “I
can’t handle this” ANT? You notice when you’re saying it
and consciously choose the thought, “I can handle this” and I like to tack on a
validating statement such as “I can handle this…even though it sucks…or I can
handle this even though it’s not what I’d prefer”….this tells your body that
it’s not in a state of alarm and all your systems can work more effectively. You can try this little experiment at
home…say “I can’t handle this” and see how you feel…then catch yourself and say
“I can handle this…even though it stinks.”
And notice how you feel….
Our thoughts precede our words and
actions. There are many more examples of
how toxic thoughts pollute our lives. I
hope that you are more aware of the impact your thoughts have on your life and the importance of taking time
to notice them and choose more empowering ones to help you design your Best
Life. I promise that as you do this you
will live a life filled with more peace, purpose and power…and experience
healing in all its forms.