I’ve been working on the concept of Teamwork in our
home. More specifically, I expect my
kids to want to cheerfully do their chores because we’re all on the “Home Team”
and to “win,” we need to work as a Unit.
But...not really. As my husband
and I were talking, I admitted, “I really don’t expect them to cooperate.” This explained a lot as to why my methods had
been so wildly ineffective. I truly didn’t
believe they would do what I asked. My
tone of voice and micro-managing checking behaviors are evidence of that. Our expectations for our children can have a
profound effect on them, so this is a subject worth exploring. I have found that when I center myself and
get intentional before I ask them to do something, I parent with a more positive
tone and allow them the opportunity to complete their work.
I’ve also been noticing this power of expectations more with
clients. It’s amazing how cunning our
self-sabotaging behaviors can be. “I
really don’t expect this relationship to work out,” a client said to me. “I’ve been with them almost as long as any
relationship ever…this is usually the time it falls apart.” How does that belief show up in our
behaviors? It can be ever so
subtle. You don’t respond to their text, you are aloof when they go to kiss you, you rationalize engaging
with people you know are attracted to you.
Our expectations matter.
As our perception changes, our behaviors change and therefore our
realities change. If you’re looking to
make some shifts in your life, ask yourself first, “What do I really expect or
believe that could be getting me the current results I’m getting?" If you’re brutally honest with yourself, you
may just discover that you have been getting the results you were truly expecting.
